Ancestral Severance
We cannot separate ourselves from the flesh or DNA of our lineage, that is not within our power. We can, however, choose the energetic, spiritual, emotional, and intangible legacy that we want to adopt & pass down... or not. Beyond your personal karmic assignments, you are allowed to determine who and what reenters this realm through you...and this is also a literal thing if you are capable of physical birth. The way to learn that type of control is to learn yourself through the lens of personal accountability, your family, your interactions with the external world so you can identify what you want to carry, pass on, or release.
One of the most effective questions I ask myself "would I deal with this from a stranger?" If the answer is "no" then I need to set a boundary with the relative/friend. If the answer is "yes", but it's a thing I do NOT want to experience, then I need to self-reflect.
Do not let yourself romanticize your family; it is just as damaging as villainizing them. Unless they did some villain-level shit, people were just peopling... not necessarily "doing their best" either... just moving thru life. I've posted this next thought as a response to a an IG story, but sometimes time & space creates an opportunity to rose-tint our lenses, and our personal growth gives us similar hope for others, but people are who they are. If there isn't an active internal or innate pull to revise oneself, the "growth" just manifests as more effective masks, newly adopted identities, major lifestyle changes...ect. Those shifts are a reflection of the capacity or willingness of the energies with THEM too... *as above, so below*. If you and anyone were to have aligned paths, your Spirits would have energetically similar methods since you're DNA is connected to the same ones, but a Spiritual disconnect is a reflection of a physical/emotional one and vice-versa. Don't let the romanticization of "Ancestry" keep you in a one-track delusion that your whole lineage is or is capable of anything… especially not “healing”.
If you have been working with Ancestors and "new" ones emerge... if you can't identify them, set an intention to speak through ONLY those you can identify. If you can identify them, don't get so excited that you forget to clock the timeline and recent events especially if you've called in the past and they didn't respond or assist. Trace the energy to their living descendants and clock it, identify the karma they might be carrying based off what's going on in your living family. Those same energies exist in your Ancestral one, if you set a boundary in the flesh, apply it to your Ancestral practice. Speak to remove the misaligned, resentful, envious, treacherous, shifty, backhanded, etc... all of them, at this point, anyone who wanted "elevation" alongside you, HELPED YOU GET IT. Others waited until you got this close to your next door to suddenly see the value of "helping" you... don't fall for it in spirit OR flesh.
Your team is your team.